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Toasted Pixel Presents: Scifi Cable Guide, Part III: A Primer on Battlestar Galactica

Today, we cover a fantastic show, and we're not kidding about that. Battlestar Galactica is the best show on TV, named after the worst show ever on TV. Why'd they do that? Who knows. But below are the things to be certain of.

Battlestar Galactica The basic premise to the show is that far in the future, humanity builds robots, and those robots rebel and destroy most of humanity. Now, yes, that's the premise to any show that involves robots, but this is still different because it stars Edward James Olmos of Stand and Deliver who wears a bushy gringo mustache for a good section of the series to denote flashbacks where he's younger. The freakin' Terminator series would never be that brilliant. Anyway, less than 50,000 humans are left after the robots attack, and the remnants of humanity wander the galaxy in search of earth. To make matters worse, the robots, called Cylons, look like humans now. Now, yes, that's the premise to any show with robots, but this is still different because this happens: Let's take a look at the series' history, and the biggest question of the series.

The Show's History In 2003, the SciFi Channel ran a miniseries called Battlestar Galactica, and assembled the best cast a SciFi Channel budget could offer. Yes, they got the woman from Zolar: Who also happened to be in I Was a Teenage Faust: The miniseries was a big enough success that they had the opportunity to start up a regular TV series on it one year later. However, a year is a LONG time to not be in production, and many series never got their chance to start up with that long a hiatus. You see, after a year, the sets would need to be dismantled for larger, better projects, and the actors would have other jobs by that time that would conflict with the show's shooting schedule. Thankfully, none of the cast got jobs for the year after the miniseries was filmed. Phew. So now we have the best show on TV, that asks the question we all must ask: how do you tell if someone's a friend or foe?

Cylon/Human Detecting The big question is, how can you tell who's a Cylon, and who's a human? It's actually a lot easier to discern than you think. How to tell if the character is a Cylon: Cylons get nookie. The intergalactic symbol for gettin' some. If you're looking at someone who's doing other people, it's a Cylon. That's it. Although if you're AROUND a Cylon and are a human yourself, that may be enough for you to start getting some as well, or at least start doing the Cylon, since they need people to get it on with, after all. On to the humans. How to tell if the character is a human: Humans do awesome things on the show like become alcoholics and hit old people. Anyhow, have we convinced you to start watching the series yet? We'll continue the guide next week.