Lost
Warning: Spoilers (sorta).
Lost is the smash hit show about plane crash survivors on an isolated island in the Pacific.
It's an interesting interpersonal drama, but the really interesting part is how many different factions
of people there are (many existing before the crash) on the island. They are as follows:
I. Instant Messaging Pirates.
The island is filled with cutthroat, primitive, barefoot pirates who kidnap children to swell their pirate ranks.
However, their Achilles' heel is the fact that they leave their pirate computer labs unattended,
with Pirate Instant Messenger left on, so kidnapped children can try to contact outside people. So
we're left with scenes (we're not joking) where one kidnapped father is supposedly IM'ing with his
pirate-kidnapped son, after they apparently Telneted to the same server and Fingered each other's handle
and used Talk to start up an isolated Pacific island LAN chat.
Pirates are silly. On to the next faction.
II. The Set Designers of R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet.
There is a secret place on the island, a bomb shelter-like place where employees of a secret world
organization are supposed to live their entire existences underground. This bunker hole has all the amenities
of a regular home, it has fake windows with backlit Venetian blinds to make you feel like you're above ground,
it has computers with which you can chat with pirates, and it just so happens to
look identical to the set of R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet.
The only differences are that the hole looks a lot less fake, and doesn't happen to have
giant posters of the man of the house looking just as disapproving and judgmental as he always does at women
before cheating and pointing guns at them.
III. Tropical Island Polar Bears and a Cloud of Smoke that Roars like a Dinosaur and Eats
People Noisily When It Doesn't Combust Sections of the Forest Randomly and Make You Hallucinate,
Without Any Bearing on the Plot.
Shrug.
IV. The Unpleasant Michelle Rodriguez, Acting Unpleasant.
The plane crash resulted in two camps of survivors on the island. The people near the fuselage area of the plane
landed on one beach, while the tail section of the plane broke off, and its survivors crashed on a much less
hospitable area. The pirates raid both groups of survivors,
but they harass the tail section people a lot more often and more brutally.
The people in the front half of the plane are elite military soldiers, highly trained survivalists, and career
criminals with a lifetime of experience with weapons. They also have about ten fully loaded guns with them,
and about twenty hunting knives. Each time one of the pirates arrives, these normally extremely-fit survivors
get their clocks cleaned and get their butts handed to them by each individual pirate. The tail section people,
however, have Michelle Rodriguez. Even though they have no weapons, no food, and no training,
they have a scowly woman, Rodriguez, so she and company absolutely slaughter the pirates in mass numbers every
time they try to raid the tail people. That's the power of her purse-lipped frown, which has plagued her
and all who enter her Cain-like ring of death since Resident Evil.
It's quite an interesting island, sort of busy for an unknown, uncharted small Pacific island. With polar
bears and murderous dinosaur smoke all. Did we mention this show is on ABC? That's pretty cool.
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