Kirk's Premise:
We've already gone over many premises of Kirk's faith, like
the fact that his God will punish you eternally if you were constructed to feel emotions or motivations.
So let's cover more about his Witnessing and Evangelical premises.
According to Kirk's website's blog,
Left Behind III: The Disco Version, Kirk explains that in his latest Evangelical movie:
Once again, I'm playing "Buck" and my wife Chelsea plays "Hattie". This time,
the Trib Force is doing all they can to slow down the plans of the Nicholae Carpathia to
annihilate Christians from the planet (by secretly infecting the majority of Bibles with
a highly toxic biological agent like Anthrax and allowing the Trib Force to distribute them to new converts)
and bring in his new, one-world government and religion. This movie has the famous double wedding scene
between Buck and Chloe and Rayford and Amanda. Hattie is pregnant with the antichrist's child and Bruce
Barns goes home to be with the Lord.
I love the fact that in the future, an organization called the "Trib Force" exists, and that they hand out Bibles.
On top of that, the mother of the antichrist is named "Hattie."
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Scientology's Premise:
Seventy-five million years ago, earth was called Teegeeack and was part of the Galactic Confederacy,
ruled by the evil leader Xenu.
Citizens of the Galactic Confederacy millions of years ago looked, dressed,
and drove cars and intergalactic DC-8 airplanes just
like 1950's and 1960's earthlings did.
Xenu used psychiatrists to drug up billions of overpopulating citizens with booze, loaded them up on copies
of Douglas DC-8s, and flew them to Teegeeack/earth, now a prison planet. There, Xenu unloaded the
citizens around Teegeeack/earth's volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls were blown into
the sky, where Xenu's ships caught them with electric soul nets.
These souls were then forced to watch movies for the next 36 days to brainwash them into believing
Roman Catholicism and the crucifixion (in 75 million BC), and into forgetting their identities.
It turns out that some of the citizens survived getting blown up by the hydrogen bombs and volcanoes, and
the disembodied souls found these citizens and attached themselves to them. The citizens are our ancestors,
and the attached souls are still with us after all these generations, causing us to get sick and feel
ambiguous about things. When Scientologists help remove these lost souls from you, you can become immortal
and able to withstand other hydrogen bomb explosions and volcanoes.
Meanwhile, the "Loyal Officers" in the Galactic Confederacy overthrew Xenu and locked him in a mountain with
a forcefield.
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