Death Race 2000 is a futuristic racing combat movie starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. Our review of the movie is as follows: It's a futuristic racing combat movie starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. And this car:

Sort of like The Fast and the Furious for dinosaur... cars.

The movie is a bold vision of six years ago, a time when space-age technology is everywhere, cybernetic body parts are commonplace, and NASCAR fans are exactly the same as they are today:

Click here to see America after 9/11.
(mpg size: 2.37MB)

Crap. It's Catholic school all over again.

Anyway, here's the introduction of the film's hero, David Carradine:

Click here to see the manner in which I now demand to be greeted by everyone.
(mpg size: 1.39MB)

He did this movie right after Kung Fu. Which will history remember more fondly?

"Friends, Romans, Mr. Hat..."

This is more than just a racing movie. It's also a romance. Here's the cybernetically altered Carradine giving that sweet sweet talk to win over the girl, after they dance with his S&M mask on (warning, NSFW video):

Click here to see the real kung fu at work.
(mpg size: 3.91MB)

And this is how he re-introduces himself after sleeping with the woman:

Yeah, that would make me forget about his face, that's for sure.
(mpg size: 974KB)

Carradine, the most successful combat racer there is, must defeat Sylvester Stallone, the second most successful, in the biggest race of the country. Here's the awesome car Stallone drives:

Rambo would've been a lot shorter film if he just had this car in Vietnam.

Since he's only the second best driver out there, he doesn't have as big a fan base as Carradine, and thus the fans don't cheer him on as much. Here's how well he takes such treatment:

Click here to see Stallone give it right back at'cha.
(mpg size: 2.82MB)

And this is how he races on the road:

Click here to see a metaphor.
(mpg size: 1.10MB)

Oh, almost forgot. Stallone likes to sweet talk his female co-pilot after killing people.

That brings us to the point of the race and the plot. For that, Click Here for the next page of the review.