Welcome to
Game Life.
From the very first sentence spoken on this show, you'll see that you're not dealing with your average humans or
other types.
It's the only internet show run by... watch the f@&*&%'ing video, that's the only way to understand.
The introductions (many uncomfortable pauses deleted for continuity)
go as follows:
"HI... [awkwardness deleted]...
I'm your host, Andrew Rosenblum... [OH PLEASE GET ME THE HELL OFF THIS CAMERA]
alongside my partner, Alex Lezzar..."
Alex Lezzar comes into the picture and announces his intentions on the show:
"Hurrarrrrahoaaeeearrrrarrruuunnnhrrrarrr rreaeeennarrrowwwoorrnnneoorreennhhh..."
It's at this time that you start to notice the theme music.
"Do, do do DO, doot doot, doot doot, do..." [in the style of cyborg clowns. The BAD ones]
It's the theme music to cats held back from grade school, the differemce being that such remedial cat classes
don't go on for FORTY FIVE MINUTES.
Which this video does.
We have to say, these kids get all the credit in the world. Not every nineteen-year-old has the guts to come in
front of the camera wearing this inflatable... neck (shrug) :
And say things no one can understand for the better part of an HOUR without explaining why they're performing
a confusion attack on us.
We sure didn't have the guts to do this. Perhaps we're the lucky ones. Who knows. Years from now,
future civilizations will unearth this video and try to piece together our language with it. They'll decipher
the following lexicon:
- "Hello" in their language = mehnareehhneehrrrraaaaaAAAHHH!... in our language
- "Look" = :) lol r0x0r
- "Plaster wall" = ¥ڋª¶µ¿
Then there's this uncomfortable interview with a serial killer that lasts about one full minute of back-turned
mumbling on why he used a sling blade or something.
After a certain point, it's clear that regardless of its stated intentions, Game Life only
seeks to reprogram us, with stammering vowels shouted periodically over seizure-inducing camera-throwing
for the Olympics that open our brains for the final blow.
The hosts simultaneously show amazing courage to DO this for so long,
although that's counterbalanced by their almost never
looking up or straight or speaking sentences or generally proving they're not autistic.
In military terms, it's called "battle fatigue."
We honestly hope they get picked up and do thousands of shows over the next few years.
We hope this for many reasons. Not the least reason being the "RAAAAAAHHHHH! MMMRRREEEAAAAHHHH!" movements
done so many times to dialogue that will be repeated for the courtroom someday.
Why do I picture him doing this to his young nephews in 30 years?
To tell you the truth, you'll be able to understand about 30% of the speech in this, making this a sort
of orc-oriented Nintendo gaming show, if that's your thing.
Once again, though, kudos to these guys for making their dreams flesh. We're convinced they'll be
multimillionaires in ten years due to their technical prowess.
But not for this, perhaps...
|
|
