There are two reasons we deserve to die. The first is
the front page of CNN today. But
before we show you the news site, let's imagine you're
an alien who lands on earth today and reads the news. You will be asked who the good guy is
on earth when you go back tomorrow.
Notice in the right column, it's revealed that there was more grisly murder and torture we didn't formerly know
about in Abu Ghraib.
Not the top story, because the American government officials
that did this aren't as high ranking as the guy
that put a shotgun pellet in an old man's chest.
The actual article talks about things like
"a corpse that appears to have had a section torn from its head."
This is insanely consequential international news about us. But it is not the top story,
because it has been bumped for a headline about our Vice President's shooting victim.
In fact, the story "Comics take aim" at the fact that Cheney shot a man in the face has better billing
than Abu Ghraib, the Iraqi resistance insurgents against our military occupation of their country,
or comic-sparked anti-Western riots gone deadly.
Actually, there are TWO stories about comics on the front page of CNN! That's awesome!
The happiest news on the page is about how we're losing the Olympics. It's the happiest news because
we don't care about the Olympics.
How much you want to bet that the Muslim riots are going to spread to Sarajevo and that someone named
Franz Ferdinook is going to be assassinated in the Muslim-Western strife, and that WWIII starts because of it?
In any case, yes, we said there were two reasons we deserved to die. The other is the fact that
this is the country that came up with the Taco Bell "You're Good to Go" campaign.
It's that bad.
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