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Updating Every Weekday Unless Something Horrible Happens to Me

Toasted Pixel Presents:
The Pariah of Gaming



If you could warn your younger self against one thing, that one thing for many gamers would be to not buy the Sega Dreamcast, the one modern generation console to actually die and end production, leaving the PS2, Xbox, and GameCube to fight it out.

The Dreamcast has become such a joke, that even reputable retailers selling it have given up taking it seriously. Maybe it's no mistake that Amazon.com uses this product photo by BIG WANG for the Sega Dreamcast console:



The sad thing is that Dreamcast is indeed NOT number one, in tha hood or anywhere else in accepted society.

But why did it die out? Was it the quality of games? No way! Dreamcast had the most awesome games! Take, for instance, The Typing of the Dead:


"Type or die." A game obviously targeted at American tech employees.


Most gamers know the game House of the Dead, where you use a pistol controller to shoot at zombies on your screen. Typing of the Dead was a Dreamcast game where you used a keyboard and typed out words floating over the zombies. If you typed in the words right, the zombies exploded.


Nothing truly captures the horror of a zombie attack like "Yolk."


This game actually got great reviews! It taught people how to type fast! AND how to kill zombies the way real men do in traditional African cultures.

To its credit, the game was a lot more fun of a way to learn typing, than other educational "games." For instance, Typing of the Dead blows away Fun Brain's Spell Check:



If you start to play this game, it will inexplicably pop up ads, teaching kids valuable lessons on how to how to spam all their friends by involving them in pyramid schemes.

We need more games targeting children that involve them in criminal activities.


The consensus: Teaching kids to spam others when they think they're learning to spell? Where does it end? We may as well make a game to teach kids to develop Obsessive Compulsive... oh, we did that already.





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