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Toasted Pixel Presents:
The Film History of People Who Get Dismembered So Fast They Don't Realize It and Then Look Surprised When They Start Falling Apart

Part I of II


Click here for Part II

The truth is, life is more interesting when you can actually realize that your brain has been dismembered, and when you can follow events for a while after your observational organs have been disconnected from the rest of you. Below are some of the greatest examples of how movies can make this miracle a reality.

Cube (1997)


(mpg size: 4.17 MB)


Length of time between the
dismemberment and the falling apart:
8 Seconds.
Level of surprise on his face when he
realizes his brain has been diced:
7


Eight seconds is a long time, isn't it? However, parts of him that are hanging openly and would assumingly fall off immediately, his fingers, don't fall off for nine seconds after being separated from his hands.

He'd get a higher rating for his look of surprise, but the problem is, he has the same look of surprise before he gets dismembered (while he gets sliced, though, he looks a tad more surprised before returning to his original surprised position.

Blade II (2002)


(mpg size: 1.67 MB)


Length of time between the
dismemberment and the falling apart:
2 Seconds.
Level of surprise on his face when he
realizes his brain has been diced:
3


The vampire is so surprised that he got killed, that he doesn't even immediately turn to dust upon getting sliced in half. Now that's surprised.

After he gets chopped, he manages to continue looking at the sword and following its trail as it continues its upward swing through and above him, which wins him a few points. However, he still looks pretty deadpan even after the script tells him to gasp with surprise, which is no good for realizing such a life-changing event. Well, for realizing that and Wesley Snipes' preceding line.

Final Destination 2 (2003)


(mpg size: 1.52 MB)


Length of time between the
dismemberment and the falling apart:
4 Seconds.
Level of surprise on his face when he
realizes his brain has been diced:
Priceless


In medical circles, this is called "selective limb dropping." That's when barbed wire slices you in several sections, but only your left arm falls off immediately, but the bulk of you and your right arm are too surprised to do anything but have an expression as cute as the dickens.

In true House of the Dead video game style, his legs manage to stay standing and balanced long after the rest of him can't stay alive.

Click here for Part II





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