Toasted Pixel


Updating Every Weekday Unless Something Horrible Happens to Me

Toasted Pixel Presents:
Their Best Work Besides Law & Order

(Part I of II)

Believe it or not, we're not just about crazy scifi movies. When we're not watching craven undead fish, we love a good drama, in particular the long-running Law & Order series which has resulted in numerous spin off shows and the craven Richard Belzer.

And if there's one thing we love more than watching a group of talented, highly theatric actors performing courtroom drama, it's reminding everyone that these actors used to be in Ghoulies. Below, enjoy seeing the performances that we think are these actors' true career highlights.

We begin with a guessing game.

Law & Order: Captain Insano

Who's this handsome fellow, being gazed upon by a gaping-mouthed Elisabeth Shue?

Fewer mullets get as honorable an introduction these days.
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If you still can't figure it out, try listening to him speak:

It's true. The city makes you a monster. Watch Sex and the City for proof.
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That's right, it's captain insano himself, Vincent D'Onofrio. His character died in the Vietnam War film Full Metal Jacket even before getting to Vietnam because he was fat and everyone wanted him dead for it. Awesome. Yet in the same year as Full Metal Jacket, this young buck starred as Thor, the statuesque Norse god who worked in a car garage, in the Elisabeth Shue movie Adventures in Babysitting (which the clips are of above).

Whether a cop, mechanic, or soldier, he's always on the verge of murdering people for trying to talk to him. And speaking of which, here's Christopher Meloni:

Christopher Meloni

Meloni, the star of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, has the same homicidal "man, I'm going to enjoy killing you" look in everything he does, whether it's a publicity photo:

Or a family or crazy hat comedy photo:

His best work, honestly, was in the 2004 film Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, where he pleasantly asked two kids to have sex with his wife, before segueing into more of a naked Chris Meloni-oriented issue.

Want to see his special victim unit?
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Notice in the photo above that his son is about to take after his father in beating the crap out of you? Sort of like Zoolander's kid with the looks.

Michael Moriarty

And speaking of epic fights, remember when Emmy, Tony, and Golden Globe winner Michael Moriarty played Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone on the original Law & Order? Fighting crime for five years on the show?

But before that, he took part in a different type of battle.

He packed a wallop in his "oooo" years.
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And making different summations:

That's just legal talk, I think.
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This is of course from Moriarty's 1985 film, The Stuff, about sentient yogurt from outer space that kills people.

But it doesn't start killing before companies sell it and make several ad campaigns for it, some involving spandex and some involving Abe Vigoda and the Where's the Beef woman. And then Danny Aiello shows up just long enough to get eaten by his dog (shrug).

The point, however, is that Michael Moriarty, the courtroom drama star, has an extended personal fight with yogurt placed for him by aliens in his motel pillow:

To sleep, perchance to EAT. Sorry.
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The Stuff blew my mind. Man, I love Law & Order actors.

Click here for Part II of the feature; an assistant district attorney fights Dracula in the second sequel to a Jennifer Esposito film and more!