SCENE ONE:
SOME WHITE GUY MAIN CHARACTER [haven't been able to tell them apart on the show]:
"Three petty thugs who have no bearing on the show or plot
have infiltrated the U.S.S. Enterprise! To protect my captain, I must sacrifice
myself, blowing up the entire corridor that the thugs and I are in!"
[Kaboom]
SCOTT BAKULA: "Noooooo! My best friend!"
EVERYONE ELSE: "Noooooo! He was like family!"
SCENE TWO, SET THREE HOURS AFTER THAT:
SCOTT BAKULA: "Wow, it's such a pain having to memorize this speech I have to give."
EVERYONE ELSE: "Awww! We got lousy seats for this show!"
EVERYONE: "Hahahahaha!"
As you can see, none of the randomness within that 20 second time frame had any bearing on anything
else in that time. Not even the death (and a horrifyingly random "huh?" one) of a main character had
any effect on any of the other characters. It was as if the writers of this episode were inspired by
the nonlinear writing of the movie
Memento, only no one told these writers that Memento was a story told
backwards chronologically.
And that was just twenty seconds! Imagine
TWO HOURS of the same, and you have the baffling experience that was the Enterprise
series finale.
In actuality, it was all interesting to watch, as seeing something on primetime television made
by psychotic orangutans at an insane asylum would be interesting to watch.
But the fact remains that tons of people had to come together
and make this happen regardless, and put it on network TV. This will go down in history alongside
such mind-screwing phenomena as The Naked Lunch and Windows ME.
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