Meet Prophet Yahweh.
"For only 45 days, starting June 1st until July 15, 2005, Prophet Yahweh, Seer of Yahweh,
will be calling down UFOs and spaceships for the news media to film and photograph.
During this time, a spaceship will descend, on Prophet's signal,
and sit in the skies over Las Vegas, Nevada for almost two days."
According to Prophet Yahweh's website,
the Prophet has learned "resurrected the lost,
ancient art of summoning UFOs and actual spaceships on command."
Well, to be fair, Yoda DID summon an X-Wing fighter from a swamp using Force powers
from long, long ago.
Furthermore, "After I continued calling down sightings, like the prophets of the bible,
and UFOs started appearing, almost without fail,
I prayed to the magnificent YAHWEH and told Him that if He would use me to signal His spaceships and UFOs
before the eyes of the world,
I would live a life of poverty and be totally dedicated to Him."
So, the big question is, WHY does he call spaceships and UFO's, and HOW does this serve Yahweh?
The answers are more impressive than you may imagine:
"It has been over a quarter century since UFOs and spaceships have been appearing to me.
During this time, I summoned, just to be doing so, with no real purpose in mind,
so people could witness this phenomenon."
Well, that's kind of nifty of him to be doing this for people. I sometimes like to sing
karaoke to entertain my friends, he dedicates his life to poverty to call down spaceships
so people can go, "Ooo." Gotta admit, he got me beat there.
I sort of think that if I
were piloting an intergalactic spaceship somewhere, I'd be kinda pissed if some random guy from
a backwater planet somehow kept summoning me to Nevada over and over, with him admitting he doesn't
even has a purpose for doing this to me. Assumingly, the guy who went to alien piloting school and
worked his way up to starship captain would be piloting his craft in space for, well, SOME reason.
I'm just glad that no one in Belgium has the power to summon our aircraft carriers so the locals can
witness the phenomenon.
Best of all, these mystical, Yahweh-granted appearances only cost $7.95, or $19.95 for various
membership plans. And luckily, Yahweh's servants accept Mastercard to show you this miracle.
When Judgement Day comes, I sure will feel silly if this turns out to be the truth.
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