Continuing our commentary on modern horror, we must now mention how they've all
finally evolved to miraculously be the same movie: a Japanese horror
film about water and little girls (wow, was that as perverted as it sounded?
They ARE Japanese, after all).
That means, if you've seen one large-budget American horror film in the past three
years, you don't have to see any more until they evolve
into some other ethnicity's movie (specifically, the 2002 Thai film The Eye,
to be remade later this year).
We just saw the Japanese film Dark Water,
written by the same guy who made Ringu and Ringu 2, and WOW was that
a crap-fest of Battlefield Earth proportions. Unless every review of the American
remake consists of "absolutely nothing, NOTHING like the awful Japanese version," then there's
probably nothing redeemable about it.
Horror films used to be about SOMETHING. Nowadays, no. For the upcoming American remake
of Dark Water, Jennifer Connelly didn't even have to act. She just had
to do eye exercises the whole shoot:
And predictably, just like all the other films in its genre, it's about the same exact circumstances.
In fact, why don't we cut to the chase and make a film that just spells out the truth?
Now you see? It MAKES, NO, SENSE. Nonetheless, it'll still have a sequel. Why? Just because.
Why do you think they chose Sarah Michelle Gellar and Naomi Watts for these films?
Because they have RANGE?
Ha.
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