Once in a while, a book will come along that will make you think, wow, this
author is profiting from the
suffering of others and is an opportunistic jackass.
Will They Fly a Plane Into Our House: How To Talk To Children About Terrorism actually
makes those books cry with despair before it gives them the date rape drug and infects them with venereal disease.
If you think Lawrence E. Shapiro
wrote this book because he saw 9/11 as a cool event he could cash in on, then
you should read the book.
Then you'll see how he explains that 9/11 was actually an AWESOME event that he could
yell "Woo hoo!" to, with his eyeballs turning into dollar signs to loud "cha-CHING!" noises.
Perhaps while his head turned into a voracious wolf's. In a pinstripe suit. With his feet fluttering
above the ground as if he's swimming upwards. Yes.
On page eight, he explains a bit about 9/11:
You have probably heard the Chinese saying: "In every crisis, there is also opportunity." I
certainly believe that this is true in this situation and it is one of the main reasons that I have
written this book.
Every time an author says that the terrorism of 9/11 was a fantastic opportunity to make some cash off of,
an angel gets his wings.
Sorry, did I say angel? I meant Balrog.
He talks about how planes flying into people
was a great opportunity for kids to become more well-adjusted citizens,
and that frankly, he's the right person to author the series of books to explain how that works.
While I'm sorry that you're going suffer your first suicide attempt this point,
I assure you that your first attempt is almost always unsuccessful, so I'll simply drink some
malt liquor until you come back to finish reading this review.
Man, they raised the price of malt liquor from $2 to $3. I may have to go back to sniffing kitty litter.
Ah, you're still alive.
So, while that book cover above looks like it was drawn by a child, it was actually drawn by Robin C. Morris,
an adult who's expertly illustrated other books. But why commission someone to draw like a retarded child?
Weren't there were thousands of actual children out there whose drawings they could've used?
Actual children who drew images of the Hindenberg with shark fins
flying into their radioactive tesla coil houses that emit lightning?
Notice how the cat is the only family member who doesn't care that the house is about to be invaded by terrorists.
Have you ever seen a cat and Osama bin Laden in the same picture? The illustrator who happens to be named
Morris is trying to tell us something.
If you doubt that Robin C. Morris is actually an accomplished adult designer, you could do a quick search
of her work online, or look at the rest of the book, which she designs.
Below is a page written by Shapiro and drawn by Morris:
The mark of a great author is someone who talks down to kids like they're
dogs at the pet store who want to be played with. Let's fill in these answers to
see how much we can glean from looking at these people's "body language," if that IS its real name.
Wow! We truly can learn a lot about the psychotic nature of purse muggers just by looking
at their afros.
Next, we go over exactly why it's a good thing if children
announce they want to pick up guns and become murderers.
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