Let's go over the basic contents of the book. It sets a few corollaries. First of all,
it informs you that your children are absolutely terrified of the Taliban regime,
even if they've never mentioned anything about terrorism in their lives.
In response to the fact that "Many parents have told me that their children are not really asking questions about the
events of September 11," he assures you that
the kids could just be in denial, they're desensitized to violence, or that your kids are just emotionally
immature and require remedial learning compared to kids who live in mortal fear of Afghanistan. Love, Larry Shapiro.
He also says exactly how you should address children about the problem. In a nutshell,
you can tell them about any atrocity that happened on earth, as long as you do so in a condescending manner.
Kids feel better when they're treated like morons, and it makes the news of any acts of mass murder suitable
for children.
Well when you put it that way, buddy Larry, terrorism sounds f*cking cute. You can actually picture him
petting the kids on their heads like they're Saint Bernards while he recites that letter.
Next, in an open dialogue with children, he lays down the fact that he hasn't watched the news since 9/11/2001,
and any child over the age of four will know more than he does about current events, Osama bin Laden, or
Al'Qaeda:
It's true! Kids, all that crap you saw on the news about Afghanistan the day after 9/11 was actually
about our stance against
the Geonosian Trade Federation droid army stationed there.
Shapiro goes to great lengths to convince children that the only war we're mobilizing soldiers to fight
in is the war against the dead terrorists
who died in the planes they committed suicide in during 9/11.
Oh no! We're fighting ghosts! That would be scary to kids.
Now, you heard something about a "Taliban" and "Al'Qaeda?" We assure you we've never heard of them.
Certainly not in a book anyone researched about 9/11 terrorists.
Above all, Larry stresses that if a child asks the straightforward question of whether or not it's safe to
fly in a plane, give them a paragraph
reply that says nothing about the answer because you should learn to enjoy feeding off of the
confusion of five-year-old children. Spend an hour talking about old time cars and bicycle helmets.
Confusion attack!
But he truly does care. He wants to alleviate children's suffering. He warns you that:
Oh no! Pains in the stomach, head, and other body parts! The cure for those children? Just tell them
that those body parts being in pain mean that they're feeling fine. Wait huh?
Anxiety? Recurring, persistent pain in those body parts? It means you're fine. Now go to sleep.
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